Barks In Translation

Where I am right now is standing in the entrance of Ms. River's apartment. 
What I look at, are a pair of big puppy dog eyes and a large tongue that hangs down towards the floor. 
The thing you need to realize is, if you want to get to know Ms. River, you need to get to know Maggie McGaggie. 
Standing on all fours, Maggie McGaggy continues to look up at me, and through her large, puppy brown eyes, her look says, "Who the fuck are you?" 
I bend down and reach the palm of my hand out towards her nose. Maggie sniffs and licks my palm and looks at me one more time. 
Her look says, "Okay." It says, "Just don't try anything with my mom." It says, "Mother Fucker." 
I scratch her behind her ear and tell her it's nice to meet her. 
"Pupsicles!" Ms River says. River bends down and throws her arms around Maggie McGaggie and tells her she loves her. 
The thing is, if you've ever heard Ms. River talk about Maggie, then you know. 
You see for yourself. 
You hear for yourself how much compassion and love River has bottled away, only for a select few to see. 
For those lucky enough to see this face with the mask off, it's kind of a wonderful thing. 
Ms. River puts her cheek up against the nose of Maggie McGaggie and continues to smile. 
"Pupsicles!" Ms. Rivers says "Oh, I love you puppy." She says. 
With her same puppy dog look, Maggie Mcaggie looks at Ms. River and says, "Where the fuck have you been?" She says "...and who the fuck is is the new guy?" 
I slide my laptop bag off my shoulder and take a seat next to a small kitchen table. 
Maggie makes a slow trot my way and stops two feet in front of me. 
"Hi." I say
She looks back at River and back towards me and back towards River. 
"Are you going to be nice Pupsicles?" River asks. 
Maggy Mcaggie, Pupsicles, she pauses a moment, looking towards her mom and back to me. Her look says, "Don't fucking try anything." 
My look back at her, it says, "I wont." It says "At least not when you're in the same room." 
Ms. River sets down her backpack and moves towards myself and a pair of inquisitive puppy dog eyes. 
I stand up and place the palms of both my hands on River's hips and draw her close. 
"BARK!"
I draw River close and press my lips against her lips. 
"BARK, BARK!"
My lips slide down from her lips and press against the soft skin of her neck. 
"BARK, BARK, BARK!"
While the palm of my right hand slowly moves up towards River's back, I can only translate this to, "I thought we had a deal Mother Fucker!" 
I lift Ms. River up and set her on the small dinning room table. 
My hand moves under her shirt and over the top of her breast. My opposite hand pulls up on her shit, sliding it up and over her nipples. 
Just as my tongue begins to swirl around a bare breast and bare nipple, Maggie McGaggie barks, over and over and over she barks. 
This can only translate to, "You don't waste any time do you." This translates to, "Just wait, just you fucking wait until you leave a pair of underwear or a pair of pants on the floor." 
"BARK"
"BARK"
"BARK" 
I stop and laugh and pull myself up from Ms. River and her dinning room table. 
"Maggie McGaggie!" Ms. River says. "Be nice McGags." 
Maggie McGaggie, Pupsicles, McGags, she looks up at me and over to River. Her look says, "That's better." It says, "Works every time." 
After the small kitchen table and kissing, River tells McGags that it's time to go to the park. She grabs a black leash from the kitchen and clips it to the collar of Maggie McGaggie. 
Opening the front passenger door, Ms. River tells me I might want to sit in the back. 
"She's probably going to want to sit in the front seat." River says, "Which means she probably going to want to sit on your lap." She says "Which means it might be a little uncomfortable." 
I tell her it's okay. 
"I don't mind. I'm sure it'll be fine." I say. 
Ms. River opens the back, passenger door for McGaggie.
"Go on." River says. 
Maggie McGaggie looks at Ms. River and over to me. 
"Go on." River says again. 
Maggie McGaggie jumps into the back seat of River's silver Honda Civic and looks at me. 
Her look right now, it says, "Okay." Her look says, "That's how you want to fucking play this is it?" 
Ms. River closes the front drivers door and starts her car. 
With the three of us inside, Maggie McGaggie slowly works her way from the back seat, to my lap, on top of my now squished genitalia and testicles. 
Right now, Maggie's look says, "What?" It says "It's so fun to be out of the house." It says "I'm having a great time! Are you?"
Luckily the drive to the dog park is only three blocks.
By the time we get out, everything below my torso is numb. I kick both of my feet out of the passenger side door and wait for the blood to return. 
Sometimes, this is the price you pay when you try to get to know Maggie McGaggie, when you get to know Ms. River. 
At the park, I hold the end to a short, thick rope. On the opposite end of this rope are a set of teeth, twisting and tugging and pulling. Every once in a while, I let go of my end, giving Maggie the satisfaction that she once again, has bested me. 

As the evening continues, I can honestly say I was happy to meet Maggie McGaggie. As the evening comes to a close, I can honestly say I believe the feeling was mutual. 
You see, the thing you need to realize is, if you want to get to know Ms. River, then you need to get to know Maggie McGaggie. 
You need to get to know Pupsicles, or McGags, or any other nickname Ms. River has for the Blue Heeler mix with adorable puppy brown eyes. 
The clock on my phone now reads 5:05. 
Ms. River rubs her hands through Maggie's ears and head and tells her she loves her. 
Grabbing my laptop bag, I move towards Maggie and her hanging tongue. 
"It was nice to meet you Mcgags." I say. 
Maggie McGaggie continues to hang her tongue. She looks at me through her brown, puppy dog eyes and says. "You too." Followed by, "Mother Fucker"